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by Team Fresku / Health & Self April 11, 2019

Got Dumped? How To, Keep Your Ex Off Your Mind!

The end of a relationship is always the hardest to get over. So, we can imagine the depressed blackhole you would sink into, if they just suddenly dumped you out of the blue like that. He/she was a big part of your life and now they’re suddenly gone. It is especially hard to see them move on. You start to spiral into thoughts like: “how are you going to move on?”. However, you cannot just sit there and mope around honey. You need to remind yourself that you are an independent, strong, confident person who doesn’t need a partner to be happy.

Visualizing how you are going to slash his tires or dent his car hood, might be fun for a while but eventually reality will hit, and you will be stuck to deal with those feelings. So here are a few helpful tips on how to stay sane and out of jail while coping with a breakup.

 

1. Cutting ties with your ex. (temporarily)

Cutting ties to your ex might be one of the most difficult steps. It may seem harsh, even if you agreed to be friends but it will be necessary in the beginning. Because you are so used to having this person in your life, it could make it 10 times harder to move on if you are still in contact with them. The goal is to work on finding closure, so you can move on. It doesn’t mean you will be rude to your ex or ignore them forever, you are simply giving yourself the needed time & space. If they are truly your friend, they will respect your decision.

2. Get rid of reminders.

Take everything that reminds you of this person, such as pictures & gifts, for example, and put it away in a box. Remember, you don’t have to necessarily destroy those things, unless your ex was a negative force in your life. You can just keep them away in a safe place. Later on, you might be happy that you saved the memories, even if the person was not Mr. or Ms. Right.

If burning the gifts or deleting the pictures make you feel better have at it, girlfriend! Just make sure to keep the fire extinguisher close by. No judgement here, everybody heals in a different way.

3. Go on a social media cleanse.

Uncontrolled Facebook/Instagram stalking is not the answer.Using social media to make him jealous or stalking your ex’s new girlfriend on Instagram is a big NONO and a total waste of your time. It will just set you back and hurt yourself even more. You need to get off Facebook, Twitter, Insta, Snap and even Pinterest. Just go cold turkey. Use your new free time to be more present when it comes to putting yourself back together.

4. Stop feeling sorry for yourself!

Every step back is an opportunity to leap forward. Believe that you can get over this person, because you can, and you will. It may take time and it won’t be easy, but eventually you will find closure.

Make a list of all the reasons why you deserve to be happy. This will keep you from feeling sorry for yourself. When you take stock of all that you have, you might feel better instantly.

5. Admit you’ve been doing it all wrong and vow to make a change.

There’s a reason admitting you have a problem is the first step to getting over a drug addiction. If you don’t admit it, you’ll just keep on self-destructing in the same way. You should consider telling someone that you’ve reached a deep low due to getting dumped and then making a moral inventory. Force yourself to answer hard questions, like why did this go wrong, what did I do wrong, and how can I do better next time? And tell yourself, “I want to be better in my next relationship. I can only do that by focusing on me and being a stronger person.”

You want to get to the point where you can get over your breakup and your mind and body can be in a great place, at peace. Once you’ve officially moved on from the storm and you start to feel like your natural fabulous self again. It’s time to get off the floor and into those skinny jeans for a night out of town.

Go out with friends for drinks, go dancing, bowling, to a movie, or even on a date.
Do whatever helps to make you happy. Because Kings & Queens, you deserve it!

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