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by Team Fresku / Helpdesk September 6, 2016

HELPDESK

Dear Fresku,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now. He recently asked me if I would be interested in having a threesome. He is very curious and would like to see us with a third party. I don’t really know if I am completely ready for that step in our relationship. What should I do?

Lysandra 


Hola Lysandra!

If after one year of being together your boyfriend is already calling you out on threesomes, then let me break it down to you… He is just not that into you.It is too soon for him to be having these types of feelings and interests. Set aside his feelings, curiosity and fantasies and ask yourself how YOU feel about this. How will you react when seeing him with another person in bed? The urge to compare yourself with the third party will be high and it might create some insecurities. Are you aware? And what about your self worth? Are you sensible of the fact that you might drown in feelings of shame and jealousy?

Yet if you decide to do it, make sure you are a 100% comfortable with this and that the both of you are equally interested in the third party before you bring them into your relationship unit. Be aware that things could go wrong and sometimes not according to expectations. Therefore, here are some tips for if you decide to go ahead with this “two apple bottoms, one banana” thing:

•Plan
Most of the times raw things rarely goes perfect… Therefor, plan in advance what it is that both of you want to do and how you are going to do it. Spontaneity got a lot of people into trouble!

•Set boundaries
Talk about your comforts, insecurities and your “do’s & don’ts” before creeping in bed with a third party. This is how neither of you will feel pressured participating nor overstep each others boundaries.

•Stay openminded
You being openminded is what has gotten you into this anyways. You might have to Katy Perry a bit by kissing a girl and liking it… Be openminded, stay that way, yet don’t break limits!

•No friends
Never, ever, ever pick a good friend to have a threesome with. This will only make things more awkward and a sense of shame could prevail afterwards. Pick someone out of your own circle. This makes christmas dinners and birthday celebrations less awkward for all of you.

•Be safe!
Whatever you do, however the moment and wherever the heat, RAP IT UP! You may trust the third party in bed with you, but you can never trust the ones they slept with before. STD’s were never a fashion and surely not sexy.

Good luck Lysandra, make sure you let us know how this story unfolds…

Love,

#TEAMFRESKUHELPDESK

Screen Shot 2016-08-25 at 17.49.45

PS: Names has been changed to protect identity

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